Friday, March 18, 2011
'To hint that those who grew up in a household with a mother and father are somehow less black than those who did not is beyond ridiculous'
An incredible essay (in that it had to be written at all), and powerfully uplifting. At New York Times, "Grant Hill’s Response to Jalen Rose."
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Life throws a significant number of challenges at all of us. It is how we handle those challenges and our approach to life that make us what we are as people.
A lot of us grew up in less than stellar conditions and had very, very dysfunctional families. Life is not fair, but feeling sorry for yourself is, in most cases, not going to accomplish a single benefit to your life.
Claiming victim-hood with ever more specific gradations only makes one a victim to one's on foolishness. Far too many people have succeed in life that faced far worse conditions than most who try to whine about all of the bad things, real or imagined, that kept them from being what they believe they should have become. The fact is that anyone who is willing to work hard, take personal responsibility, gain a real sense of discipline, et al can and will succeed in this country. Far too many people from other countries with far worse conditions have done it.
The comments highlighted are childish and immature, but are reflective of a society that is inundated by whining feminists, blacks, women, obese, et al who if they spent half the time they spent whining and feeling sorry for themselves on constructive pursuits would realize how silly and self destructive they are to their own lives.
We are always our own worse enemy and only we can defeat that enemy within. Blaming others serves no constructive purpose. It is just a way to absolve ourselves for our own failures.
You have to understand that Jalen Rose is a Detroiter. He comes from the subcultural tradition of Coleman Young and Kwame Kilpatrick, not Clarence Thomas.
Jalen equates subcultural attitudes with race and ethnicity. It is a common and unfortunate misconception among many Detroit blacks that education and familial responsibilities are "white."
Granted, that is stereotyping, but one only has to look at Detroit today to see the effects of 40 years of that attitude in Detroit. I know because I worked in Detroit many years and have lived in the metro area for nearly 40 years.
Fortunately, that subculture is an anomaly for the most part. My recent neighbors we well educated black professionals whose children were in the Grant Hill mold rather than the Jalen Rose one. Attitudes are not racial; attitudes are personal and subcultural.
Yeah, I did a post on this yesterday. What is so sad is that Jalen Rose has done some very good things in the Detriot area. He is helping to form a charter school system. It is obvious he cares. But the words that he chose to use hurts the very community that is trying to help and he doesn't even see it.
You know, I'd like to echo and amplify what Dennis said -- Life does throw significant challenges at all of us. It is how we handle them and our approach to life that makes us whom we are as people. And he says: "Far too many people have succeed in life that faced far worse conditions..." And I think, oh so true. And he lists a few whiny groups, whom are still complaining instead of getting off their tuckus and doing something to better themselves by their own effort, and not wait for someone to support them, or give them a helping hand even. All this, still, so true, as he alludes to.
And then I think of this other perspective that Dennis probably did not think of at all: I was dealt a lousy hand, the worst according to some -- I was born gay (or made, induced, seduced, whatever reason you think.) And that has presented challenges the likes of which few people ever encounter; indeed, only we face these challenges. All of my friends had this challenge. And you know what? All of us overcame those challenges. We made lives for ourselves; up to and including setting up a separate economy and existence to spare ourselves any more challenges. With jobs and homes, businesses and lives that are quite productive and rewarding, at least by our reckoning, even if by few others. A life and even existence that is still pilloried with regularity. Oh, we don't care. We don't even listen. It's all piffle. We get up everyday and do what needs doing; we don't wallow awaiting assistance. We'll never get it anyway.
The gay guys I know don't claim "victimhood" -- maybe some do, I don't know. We go about our lives and even have a motto for it: "Living well is the best revenge."
And when I think of all the whiners complaining, I think, "Oh, you all got it so easy, you have no idea." This Jalen Rose fellow included. He was never chased away from his home and church because he was black, or his mother single, as I was chased away because I'm gay. It took my mother almost 30 years to come to terms; my father still works on it.
Because if the most put upon "minority" ever created by God can make meaningful, productive, vibrant and exciting lives in the face of a wall of opposition, so can the rest of the whiners. They have it easier to start with.
Which makes me believe we gay guys should be held up as an example to the whiners: If we sissies can make a good life, so can they.
Jim, note that I used et al. Congratulations on finding out that the only person one has to like is oneself. Until we like who were are we will not see the good in others.
I always liked Popeye the Sailor's philosophy, "I am what I am.........." Look around you and you will find a lot of insecure people running away from, instead of embracing, who they are as people. Scratch a feminist and what one finds is an insecure little girl who hides that insecurity in the hatred of men because that is easier than taking responsibility for one's life. They have built a thin wall of aspersions and pejoratives to keep from having to deal with their own inner turmoil.
Almost every group that claims victim hood is composed of the same kind of people. It is why the darkness around them only grows and they will justify ever increasing heinous actions.
It is amazing the lengths we will go to in order not to deal with ourselves.
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