Heidi Montag's Plastic Surgery

I was genuinely shocked, seriously, when I saw my wife's People Magazine this morning. We traveled to Fresno today and I read the cover story in the van, "Heidi Montag: Addicted to Plastic Surgery."

Not being a regular viewer of MTV reality shows, I first heard of Montag after she endorsed John McCain for the presidency in 2008. I posted her picture as a "Rule 5" entry last June. And I even watched a couple of reruns of The Hills with my oldest boy. But, nothing special? She's attractive, for sure, but I doubt she has much talent. Perhaps that's why she's literally lost her mind with this so-called "addiction" to plastic surgery.

The story at People just gives you a couple of teaser paragraphs. But according to my wife's hard-copy, Montag had ten procedures done in a single 10-hour surgical session. The operations included the following procedures:

"Mini Brow Lift."
"Botox in Forehead and Frown Area."
"Nose Job Revision."
"Fat Injections in Cheeks, Nasolabial Folds and Lips"
"Chin Reduction."
"Neck Liposuction."
"Ears Pinned Back."
"Breast Augmentation Revision."
"Liposuction on Waist, Hips and Inner and Outer Thighs."
"Bottock Augmentation."

Wanting to get it done in one massive makeover jamboree, Montag was unable to walk after the procedures. This is how she explains her initial recovery at the interview:

After surgery they took me in an ambulance to Serenity After Care, a recovery center in Santa Monica. I was there for five days, and then I got to go home. The first day being back was really hard. I asked Spencer [Pratt, her husband] to cover all the mirrors in the house because I didn't want to fixate on what I looked like then. And I felt bad that he had to even look at me. I looked like I had been hit by a bus. I was a purple, swollen mush -- I didn't look human! It was so scary. I could hardly move. Couldn't even walk. And my back was black and blue and purple. It was more traumatizing just seeing it than even feeling it really. When I had a nurse come over so I could bathe, the first time the water touched me, I freaked out. I just felt so fragile.

Heidi Montag is just 23 years old. She says at the interview that she plans many more surgeries, including more breast augmentation. She may be a bit unbalanced, but she's completely honest about her motives:

People can say whatever they want, but I'm the one living in my skin. I'm the one in this cut-throat industry. Every starlet is getting surgery every other day to keep their looks up. They just don't talk about it. I wanted to be honest. For me, this was a personal choice.

The People links is here: "Heidi Montag: Addicted to Plastic Surgery."

Cover Image Credit: The Superficial, "Heidi Montag or Barbie With a Circulatory System?"

Heidi Montag Shows Off Surgically-Boosted Bod in See-Through Top at Crazy Horse Gentlemen's Club in Las Vegas

I was just reading yesteday at Fox News that Ms. Montag was regretting that she got "g-sized" implants.

Well, it turns out that those "regrets" aren't so debilitating after all.

See London's Daily Mail, "Is she auditioning? Heidi Montag shows off her surgically enhanced curves in sheer top and tiny leather shorts at Vegas strip club":

As she posed for the cameras it was clear the 26-year-old had gone without a bra, with the see-through top showing off the results of her E-cup breast enlargement.

FLASHBACK: "Heidi Montag's Plastic Surgery," and "Heidi Montag Bikini Pics!"

Heidi Montag: 'I Feel Very Plastic..."

It's a fascinating interview. Heidi Montag went nearly to the limits of human endurance to improve her appearance. (She sounds quite vulnerable in listening to her vocals.) And she literally can't move her face. "I feel very plastic," she says, after being asked. I'm moved by how honest she is about it, so perhaps an attempt a sincerity can humanize this quest for perfection that's so common among us and in our culture. Be sure to listen to the end of the video. Montag's thought through the philosophy of aging pretty thoroughly. I've always accepted age and changing, but isn't extreme exercise and fitness just a corollary to how she feels about beauty and longevity?

See also, "Heidi Montag Before and After."

Heidi Montag Shows Off Her Big Guns!

Well, not those big guns.

She's got some real firearms, at London's Daily Mail, "We need protection! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt show off guns at home admitting they feel unsafe from crazed fans."

Also at New York Daily News, "Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag pose with firearms during ‘Spedi: Scandal, Secrets and Surgery’ UK documentary."

Heidi Montag Regrets Plastic Surgeries

I'm not surprised. Recall I blogged this like a mofo at the time.

See, "Heidi Montag: ‘My Dead Doctor Ruined Me’." And "Heidi Montag Regrets Plastic Surgeries, Blames Dead Doctor."

Heidi Montag Bikini Pics!

Man, that is some transformation!

Previously at American Power: "Heidi Montag's Plastic Surgery," and "Heidi Montag: 'I Feel Very Plastic...'"

See also, Sir Smitty's pre-FMJRA tea party blogging. Plus, at The Classical Liberal, "Amy Acker presents “The Federal Reserve: Engine of Corruption”." And Washington Rebel, "To My Libertarian Friends."

BONUS: Theo Spark, "Just having the lawn mowed ..."

Rule 5 Rescue: Heidi Montag

Well, considering the news that Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy, I thought I'd go ahead and juice some hormones with a lovely shot of the shortlived "I’m a Celebrity" star ...

She looks good, but you'll have to check with Stacy and Cassandra for expert opinion on Heidi's upstairs assets. (Or Stacy's hot cousins Mandy and Lizzy!)

I also want to thanks The Rhetorican for linking my up routinely, as well as my regular battalion of blogging buddies:

Steven Givler, The Astute Blogger, Chris Wysocki, Moonbattery, Sweating Through the Fog, Three Beers Later, PA Pundits, Paco Enterprises, Ken Davenport, Sister Toldjah, Blazing Cat Fur, The Daley Gator, Just One Minute, Dave's World, Sparks From the Anvil, Right Truth, Dave's Notepad, Pat's Daily Rants, Bob's Bar & Grill, Power Line, Melanie Morgan, Dave in Boca, Neo-Neocon, Right in a Left World, Flag Gazer, Politics and Critical Thinking, Riehl World View, Midnight Blue, Caroline Glick, The Average American, The Griper, FouseSquawk, The Other McCain, Cheat Seeking Missiles, Roger Simon, Classical Values, Samantha Speaks, Grizzly Mama, The Capitol Tribune, The Patriot Room, The Real World, RADARSITE, Serr8d's Cutting Edge, Bloviating Zeppelin, Born Again Redneck The Educated Shoprat, Gateway Pundit, Political Pistachio, Liberty Pundit, Not One Red Cent, Phyllis Chesler, Right View from the Left Coast, Generation Patriot, Macsmind, Flopping Aces, Edge's Conservative Movies, Stop the ACLU, The Conservative Manifesto, Gates of Vienna, Joust The Facts, Panhandle Poet, The Red Hunter, Maggie's Farm, The Next Right, This Ain't Hell, Stop the ACLU, Right Wing Nuthouse, Melissa Clouthier, Paula in Israel, Pamela Geller, Vanessa's Blog, St. Blogustine, Yid With Lid, Pondering Penguin, Betsy's Page, The Anchoress, Ace of Spades HQ, Right Wing Sparkle, Thunder Run, The Classic Liberal, Conservative Grapevine, Cassy Fiano, Jim Treacher, NetRightNation, Q and O, Urban Grounds, Ed Driscoll, Cold Fury, Michelle Malkin, Neptunus Lex, Neo-Neocon, The Astute Bloggers, The Liberty Papers, The Monkey Cage, Law and Order Teacher, Mike's America, AubreyJ, Dan Collins, The Jungle Hut, Wake Up America, Dan Riehl, Nikki's Blog, Big Girl Pants, Maggie's Notebook, Hummers & Cigarettes, Mark Goluskin, Jawa Report, Darleen Click, The Skepticrats, Fausta's Blog, Clueless Emma, Obob's World, Seymour Nuts, Red State, Dr. Sanity, The Desert Glows Green, Not One Red Cent, Vinegar and Honey, Sarge Charlie, Thoughts With Attitude, Kim Priestap, Swedish Meatballs Confidential, Five Feet of Fury, Amy Proctor, Blonde Sagacity, Liberty Papers, TigerHawk, Point of a Gun, Right Wing News, And So it Goes in Shreveport, Nice Deb, Becky Brindle, GrEaT sAtAn'S gIrLfRiEnD, Fishersville Mike, Ann Althouse, The Blog Prof, Monique Stuart, No Sheeples Here!, Dana at CSPT, Glenn Reynolds, Obi’s Sister, Right Truth, Gold-Plated Witch on Wheels, Chicago Ray, Ace of Spades HQ, Natalie's Blog, Jimmie Bise, Little Miss Attila, Moe Lane, Private Pigg, Pundit & Pundette, The Rhetorican, R.S. McCain, Saber Point, Stephen Kruiser, Suzanna Logan, TrogloPundit, Doug Ross Journal, Villainous Company, PoliGazette, Prying 1, The Western Experience, The Oklahoma Patriot, Right Wing Sparkle, Conservatism With Heart, Duck of Minerva, Wolf Howling, Right Wing Nation, Stephen Green, The Tygrrrr Express, The News Factor, Gayle's Place, Israel Matsav, The BoBo Files, Grant Jones, Tapline, New Testament News, Wizbang, and William Jacobson.

Tune in this weekend for my regular installment of Full Metal Saturday!

Hat Tip: We Smirch.

New Heidi Montag Bikini Pics!

At London's Daily Mail, "Another day, another bikini shoot! Heidi Montag shows off her $30,000 surgically-enhanced body in a sparkling blue bikini."

BONUS: From Bob Belvedere, "Rule 5 News Special Report: Lebanese Loreleis."

Jessica Simpson in Santa Monica!

New Jessica Simpson pics, from The Superficial:

Here's hoping she doesn't go all Heidi Montag on us!

P.S. Theo Spark's "Bedtime Totty" is too hot!