Dear Teabagging Hick Terrorists,
Now is your time to step up to the plate, or shut the f**k up. Here is your anti-socialist teabagging pledge. Sign it.
I,________________, as a member of the Tea Party, take an oath that I will not use “socialist” programs such as SS, Medicare, other medical coverage provided by the Feds, take out loans from the Feds, use the Fed highways, roads, fire departments, use 911 emergency system, the police departments, the Armed Forces will not protect me, will not use libraries, schools, use cell phones, land phones since the [sic] use Fed money, over the air television or radio stations, use the internet, use Fed workers to guide my plane to an airport, public transportation, etc.
Anything that uses Fed money, included free wood from national forest, hunting land, fishing resources, camp grounds. I will ... take a chance on the food I eat, the water I use, since I will have to test it myself along with the waste water leaving my property.
If I am using or benefiting from any Fed program, I will immediately stop and return said money.
Sincerely, __________________ Date___________