Thursday, November 26, 2009

Have a Glorious Progressive Thanksgiving!

As you gather around your vegan holiday table in your "Ojamas" (pictured below), recall these warm greetings from our good friends (comrades) at the People's Cube from last year, upon the ascension of Dear Leader to his omipotent office of proletarian power in Washington:

I was just sitting here today mulling over the inspiring story of the first group of Community Organizers that made it here on the Mayflower so many years ago. I am in awe of the collective farms that they first enacted would have been able to feed the whole world had it not been for the global ice age that those capitalist bandits from Spain created in their reckless destruction of the earth in the search for gold and their introduction of horse flatulence that had never been exposed in this paradise before. I think of the good fortune they had to be welcomed by the original socialist collective, the peace loving native-American, a group that were hyphenated before it was even cool to be hyphenated. These brave Community Organizers set to work bringing the People together, that is until the second year here when they were perverted by insidious republican conservatives that led to capitalist exploitation and corruption and genocide that continued till we finally fought back and won the State Given Right for guaranteed outcomes, equal distribution of health and wealth, and non-critical thinking among many. So as we sit down tomorrow to our traditional State dinner of boiled, broiled, or fried rats, beet stuffing and imitation polar bear gravy, candied carrots, and fresh 2 day old bread, give thanks to the One. By the way, any one heard what time the state will be bringing us our dinner?

And here's our message from the Great Organizer-in-Chief:

And for your most up-to-date progressive historicism, see "Thanksgiving's Surprising Civil War Roots" (via Memeorandum).

6 comments:

AubreyJ......... said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Donald...
AubreyJ.........

xwolfpackx said...

and what exactly is wrong with veganism?

Donald Douglas said...

Thanks AubreyJ!

Dennis said...

Not a thing if they would just leave other people alone to eat as they please. I did the turkey on the grill and it was just juicy and delicious.

JBW said...

Veganism is a plot by sickly lettuce eaters to make us forget why we have our eye teeth but I'm not buying it. I've eaten the flesh of several animals so far this holiday weekend and I'm just getting started.

Your attempt at humor at Obama's expense was weak and predictable Don but I hope you and your family have a good Thanksgiving today just the same.

Dana said...

Does having a girl in her Ojamas qualify this as Rule 5 Blogging?