Sunday, January 24, 2010

What's the Best Punchline in 'Conan Obama'?

I have a feeling this piece from Professor David Michael Green will get a lot of play today, although being published at Common Dreams I'm surprised folks feel compelled to identify the author as a leftie.

Anyway, I propose this passage as the best of the bunch:

The obvious solution, of course [to your utter failure of leadership], would be a sharp turn to the left. Go where the real solutions are. Fight the good fight. Call liars ‘liars' and thieves ‘thieves'. Do the people's business. Become their advocate against the monsters bleeding them dry. Create jobs. Build infrastructure. Do real national health care. End the wars. Dramatically slash military spending. Produce actual educational reform. Launch a massive green energy/jobs program. Get serious about global warming. Kick ass on campaign finance reform. Fight for gay rights. Restore the New Deal era regulatory framework and expand it. Restore a fair taxation structure. Rewrite trade agreements that undermine American jobs. Rebuild unions. Fill the spate of vacancies in the federal judiciary, and load those seats up with progressives. Rally the public to demand that Congress act on your agenda. Humiliate the regressives in and out of the GOP for their abysmal sell-out policies.
Actually, reading over this essay once more I'm not sure if I find it all that funny. Rather than a parody of the president's failures (which are oh-so real), it's a parody of the hardline left's secular demonology. Still good for a laugh, but more insightful for its inside-baseball look at the Jane Hamsherite ideology of the neo-Stalinist contingent of today's Democratic Party.

That said, I'd give the guy a thumbs up for a least putting on a happy face while eating crow. Sure, Obama's a total failure, but considering the sub-par (socialist) sculpter's clay he had to work with, no doubt things are turning out exactly as to be expected.

Hat Tip:
Memeorandum. See also Moe Lane's version, "Which Should Be the Takeaway Quote to This Anti-Obama Screed?"


jeaneeinabottle said...

I don't care who wrote it at this point, what I'm concerned about is the last few words in his post. We need to keep this guy safe. Pray.

var said...

Taking these one at a time:

1. "...a sharp turn to the left"---Done.
2. "Fight the good fight.---Would you settle for just fighting?
3. "Call liars ‘liars'" ----He is calling people names.
4. "Do the people's business." ---Right now he is too busy ignoring the majority of people's opinions, according to the polls.
5. "Become their advocate against the monsters bleeding them dry." ----He can't. He is the monster bleeding them dry.
6. "Create jobs. Build infrastructure." ---He is too busy destroying jobs and infrastructure, except in government.
7. "Do real national health care."----Do? He did. He just hasn't passed it yet. He may never pass it. But he's "do'ing."
8. "End the wars."----He is trying to quit in Afghanistan and not look like it. So far, no luck.
9. "Dramatically slash military spending."---Fighting a war, sort of, prevents that.
10. "Produce actual educational reform."----The Unions like the way things are. Unless you mean spend more on teacher's pensions. They like that idea.
11. "Launch a massive green energy/jobs program."---- If you mean more government why not just say so? After all, the private
sector is sort of busy losing jobs right now.
12. "Get serious about global warming."----Scandals. Snow. Copenhagen. Fiasco. Ffft.
13. "Kick ass on campaign finance reform"---The supreme Court just kicked ass on the last "reform." Thankfully.
14. "Fight for gay rights." ---Every state in the union where the public could vote on homosexual marriage has voted against it, including California and Maine. This deters him.
15. "Restore the New Deal era regulatory framework and expand it"---He is trying!
16. "Restore a fair taxation structure"----Since Democrats largely wrote the tax code, what are you saying?
17. "Rewrite trade agreements that undermine American jobs." ----Hm. You are vague here. If you mean tax other nation's product's more than we are, well, then they will tax ours more and we will be in a trade war. That would probably not help us.
18. "Rebuild unions"---That was what the bribes and car company bailouts were all about... He just gets no credit!
19. "Fill the spate of vacancies in the federal judiciary, and load those seats up with progressives."---One racist on the Supreme Court is too much for me.
20. "Rally the public to demand that Congress act on your agenda."---He is trying! That is what the "I'm going to expand
the government to control 1/6th of the economy and this is going to save you money" lie is all about!
21. "Humiliate the regressives in and out of the GOP for their abysmal sell-out policies." ---Right now he is too busy trying not to be humiliated by them as a result of Massachusetts.

vanderleun said...

I love the list of Superman stunts from Green. Shows how deeply disturbed he and his ilk really are.

ewok said...

didn't stalin massively increase military spending?